Friday, Mar 23, 2018

New Phase

Hola amigos! Que tal? I’m not sure how this blog post is going to go as I write it. I know in the end it will be filled with love and hope and kindness. That’s my road map.

Heidi left for the states this week. My beautiful wife and I are going to take separate journeys for the next while and see where we both end up. Heidi recognized that she needs to heal physically, and maybe more importantly, soulfully. For her this needs to happen in the states, out of Ecuador, and without the worry and stress she sometimes has being around me. I understand her.

For me, I am going to use the space and time to work here on my own blocks and challenges, without the stress and worry I sometimes have being around her. Heidi understands me too.

After 35 years of marriage we get each other. We aren’t freaked out or terrified of change, but only see it as part of growing and living in a dynamic life. What’s true is that we love each other enough to allow each to grow in a way that works for us individually, even if growing together must pause or end.

What Ifs

Would we be doing this if we hadn’t moved to Ecuador? I can’t know for sure, but I suspect the answer is yes. Our stuff is our stuff. And of course that stuff didn’t need a passport to travel here with us. I always suspected Ecuador would prove to be a refining fire for “the stuff”. It hasn’t disappointed.

The foreign language, the behaviors and customs, the modes of transportation, the process of buying food, the weather, the myriad of “little things” can create a background tension. It can make all of one’s other issues pop out like a kettle of corn without a lid cooking over an open flame. When there is too much popcorn flying around you could put a lid on it, but that just holds it in. Sometimes you just have to turn off the flame and see what’s there when it cools. So here we are.

Saying Hasta Luego

We did get to enjoy time this week (as we did last week) with many of “our” friends as Heidi said good bye to them before she flew out of Ecuador. Here are a few pics of this weeks gathering of friends.

Soraya’s Cafe in Montanita (Joffrey, Luis, Soraya, Heidi, Me)

Heidi with Bonnie (l) and Lanita (r)

Farewell Dinner at Lido’s in Montanita

It was a beautiful sunset evening on the beach in front of Lido’s

Teresa and Heidi

“The Girls”

“Our” Friends

new phase

Me ‘n Heid

Sometimes when couples separate or divorce it gets weird for the friends. “Whose friend am I going to be?” kind of thinking. This isn’t that. There isn’t anger or animosity as Heidi and I create this space apart for us. If you were “our” friend before, you are still on the “Our” list…which of course means you are on the A list. 😉

Heidi and I love all of you. We also love each other. Without speaking for her, I believe it is our hope our journeys will bring renewed health, focused direction, and a joyful presence in the months ahead for each of us.