Sunday, May 8, 2016
This blog post is a sad and somber one.
As I sat at my computer to write my post for today, I received a fb message that a friend of mine committed suicide yesterday. A brilliant man with a strong and solid circle of support in both family and friends. He himself is a man who was strong and solid. A family man with several children and grandchildren. An accomplished man in his education and profession.
I don’t understand the depths of pain or loneliness or hopelessness that my friend felt in order to choose suicide as his only viable option. I am sitting here in disbelief. Regardless if I understand it or not, it happened. It happened with my friend who seemingly was doing well, seemingly strong, and seemingly able to endure whatever his pains may have been.
I feel sad for his loved ones left behind, faced with a huge void where he once had been present. In my belief system I don’t believe my friend is in pain, or suffers any longer. He is free, and he recognizes now how whole, complete, and truly perfect he is. He is well.
What I must remind myself of is this. Each day is an opportunity to be kind to those in our lives. An opportunity to speak praise and encouragement to each other. An opportunity to remind someone how truly special they are, if for no other reason than them just being who they are in this crazy world.
It requires a certain amount of vulnerability to say things like this, and a certain level of commitment to be mindful of doing it. I believe we have all had instances where we chose to remain quiet with our thanks, or our praise, or our acknowledgement of another for fear it may seem silly or sappy or weak, or we may have thought, “I will tell them later”. In either case, we miss an opportunity to connect in a meaningful way.
I’m reminded by my friend’s death that life is fragile, things happen, unexpected choices are made. The consequences of such things carry a permanence with them that leave those left behind reeling in “what ifs, how comes, and whys”. There are no adequate answers here.
During my life I have known other men who also took their own lives. Men who seemingly dealt well with living in this world despite the difficulties they encountered. Yet, it was not so.
I choose to live my life in connection with others as best I can. When I hear that voice in my head or feel that prompt in my heart, I choose to act on it in that moment. To reach out and speak words I want to say, to extend a welcoming embrace, to offer a consoling hug. To let that person know they matter, by my words and my actions, so if I should not get another opportunity it was not left undone.
And in the unseen things of this universe, reaching out may be the exact thing that makes the next opportunity with that person possible. In honor of my friend, Chad Mosher, I renew my commitment to live this way. I invite you to consider living in this way too.
Peace and blessings on your continued journey my friend. You matter and your absence is significant.