Tuesday, Dec 6, 2016
I took my laptop to get the screen replaced. Success! I guess I am not going to suffer a screen-blackout as the pixels on my old screen continued to die and create black spots before me eyes. Later in the day Chase asked me how I like my new screen and it was then I realized what the difference was.
Working on my old screen with its dead spots, parts of the screen that had gone black, I had learned to “not see them” any longer. I could use my screen but not “normally”. I would have to scroll text that landed in the dead zone up or down in order to read what was there. Sometimes information landed in the dead area and I couldn’t scroll it away, so I would just guess what information was in the blacked-out area and keep going.
Since I had been doing this for a while I stopped noticing I was even doing it. It struck me that those dead spots on my screen that I “put up with”, that I created behaviors to “work around”, that I even just ignored are exactly like the challenges we have in parts of our lives.
Maybe it is a relationship that has an area in it not working well, or possibly a job that doesn’t fit for you any longer, or areas of your health that you are ignoring. Black spots. You have learned to live and function with them present for so long you don’t see them any longer, but at what cost?
What are your “work arounds”, the things you are doing to make the “picture” in your situation readable? What would life be like for you if you brought light, focus, and clarity to those black spots? What would you be able to start doing? What would you stop doing? How would that feel for you?
As human beings we have a tendency to normalize the broken, or the strange, or the “not quite right” stuff we are in the middle of. It is a self-preservation method for the immediate but it does not work long-term. As for my screen left un-repaired, the black spots grow bigger, areas I have to “scroll around” grow wider, and parts I can’t see at all require I make up my own stories to “fill it in”. It is a cumbersome, stressful, and unhealthy way to live and work.
Bringing clarity and light into your life requires acknowledging the black spots on your screen, and then doing something about it. Maybe it is a conversation that needs to happen, a phone call that needs to be made, information that needs to be sought. Whatever it is, it requires a change from what you are doing now. It requires an action to be taken that you haven’t done yet.
People fear the unknown. I certainly can. What we lose sight of is that when we choose to stay the same we know exactly what we will get. If what we are getting is unsatisfying, inadequate, and ultimately painful, isn’t the risk to do the “other” thing worth it? Stepping into that unknown path may leave us in pain too, or it may give us exactly what we want and need. And it is only on this path, the unknown one, that the possibility of getting what we want exists.
What path are you going to choose?
Holy shit that was heavy, right? This is supposed to be a feel good blog about living in Ecuador. When my inner coach shows up though, I have to let him out. It is in fact what makes me happy.
So, back to my day. We met Auro for lunch at Sofy’s. It was his birthday yesterday! I would tell you how old he is but you wouldn’t believe me anyway. He definitely looks at least 15 years younger than he is.
Auro brought a friend, Francoise, who is the mother of the man who owns Casa Azul here in Cuenca. She is from Belgium visiting her sons.
I never get bored talking with people from places other than the US. I like to listen to their perspective on the status of the world, the US, and about their life experiences in the world.
We enjoyed a nice long lunch talking about many things. When we finished, Auro took us to a small organic market and artisan craft food place. It is on Benigno Malo a few blocks north of Parque Calderon. The entrance is through a door off the street that opens into a small enclosed courtyard.
Among the items for sale were organic produce, clay-pot roasted coffee beans, vegan sausage, coconut oil and butter, and vanilla extract, just to name a few items. The people selling their food stuffs were very friendly and helpful in answering questions.
Heidi picked up a vegetable that is a cross between broccoli and cauliflower. It looks like a sphere layered with Christmas trees to me. I am curious how it will taste.